Every aspect of who I am serves a purpose. Try repeating this affirmation when you find yourself mired in self doubt or negativity. Who you are is not a mistake. Accepting and even holding gratitude for the parts of yourself that feel unacceptable or limiting allows the true gifts that these aspects hold for us to emerge.
The parts of ourselves we believe to be the weakest and most flawed are deserving of our love and gratitude. Healing Practice: Write a thank you note to one of your "flaws" for always showing up to teach, guide and shape your life.
Thank you for always showing up for me.
For a long time you have worked hard to protect me and give me the life I believed I deserved. When I would let my guard down and share the real me with people you would always swoop in and remind me to be careful. You helped me understand that being vulnerable was a scary proposition. I used you as a cushion between myself and an honest gamble with something that could end in failure or rejection. I appreciate all of the ways you have been such a faithful servant to me.
I feel ready to step out and take some real chances now because you have helped me see how flat a life without risk feels to me. I trust that you will continue to have my back and help me see the places where I feel afraid and believe myself to be lacking. You’re good like that! I want to embrace myself completely and when you show up I can see the ways I am negating my brilliance!!
With deep gratitude,
Trust that nothing about you is an accident. Trust that you were intentionally created by the Universe to be exactly who you are. Even if you don't actually believe that nothing about you is a mistake or needs improvement, feeding yourself this message builds a base of confidence that can can completely alter your experience. The biggest reason is that our minds believe what we tell them and then busily go about looking for evidence to support our words. Why not have your mind work for you, seeking evidence of your perfection and importance? Actively cultivating this belief is the simplest and easiest way to flip the positivity switch in your life. In my life, reminding myself that I am an invaluable part of the whole brings me back to balance. It is a centering bell that cuts through the debilitating haze of “not enough” and allows me to begin again and again to support and love myself. An unshakable confidence grows from this place of belonging and self acceptance.
Remind yourself as often as possible that you need to do nothing to be deserving of love. That no amount of doing, having or learning could make you any more perfect than you already are. Gently tapping on the center of your chest and repeating these positive phrases, in essence, helps them sink in more deeply. You may feel sensations in your body as it recognizes truth and begins letting go of fear. If you want to take it a bit further try starting with, "I am no longer believing that... I am unlovable, imperfect, unwanted, etc." Follow with the opposite, "I am now believing that I am deeply loved, that I am deserving of love because I am here, that I am a perfect creation, etc." Watch out, this stuff works!
Our intuition serves only to guide us toward what is in our best interest. We are wise to learn the intuitive language of our bodies.
Take a few moments to remember times when you instantly "knew" someone or something was wrong for you. Maybe you felt you had to leave the party for no specific reason or just had to go to the party even though you had no idea why. Did you listen? Try sitting quietly and asking, "What does a Yes feel like?" What do you notice in your body? Ask, "What does a No feel like?" In general, a yes feels expansive and light and a no feels like contraction or closing in. Practicing this exercise strengthens your attention to what can be subtle signals from your intuition. It will serve you well and decisions will be much easier to make.
As the Holidays approach most people's thoughts retreat into memories of the past and rush off into expectations of future events. This push and pull of crashing through time can create anxiety and unsettled emotions.
Even when the memories and expectations bring happy thoughts to mind, it can be jarring to jerk back and forth through time and away from the present moment. If you find yourself lost in the past or floating away in thoughts of what is "sure" to come... take a deep breath and come back to the moment. Rub your hands together rapidly then place them over the center of your chest. Feel the warmth and peace right there inside you, right this very moment.
No matter how much "work" you do to raise your vibes and clean out your belief closet, pretty much everybody has a few old chestnuts of self doubt and distrust that work their way into their perceptions. A classic example would be the woman who believes that all men liars and can't be trusted. The scores and scores of honest men she knows and meets go unseen because she is so laser focussed on the few who have lied. Her brain is busy searching for discrepancies or red flags of untruth and calling her attention to them. Her inner dialogue could sound something like, "Why should I believe this guy?" or "This guy is probably lying to me right now!" It is pretty obvious the experiences and relationships that are going to show up for this woman, right?
The problem is that it can feel impossible to really release these beliefs that feel so true. Our subconscious, after all, created them in an effort to keep us safe and to avoid future pain. While we can consciously see the havoc they may be wreaking throughout our lives, changing them can prove challenging.
Here is a simple trick to sneak in the backdoor of your subconscious and write a script that brings more positive experiences into your life. It is called a Rewrite. All you do is reverse the statements or thoughts that focus on what you don't want into their opposite. Don't be fooled by the simplicity here, this is powerful magic!
Here is what a reversal for our friend who has trouble trusting men could sound like:
"Why should I believe this guy?" becomes "Why shouldn't I believe this guy?"
Here are more examples: "I never always have enough money to get what I want." "I am always never overlooked." "All the good men are already taken ready and waiting for me." "I am not good enough."
The best part of this trick is that you don't have to believe your reversal. You just need to ask the question or rewrite the statement. That's it. Your subconscious will take it from there!
We are knee deep into fall and every day is getting shorter. As the sunshine wains it is natural for us to get more sluggish and sleepy. We are mammals after all, looking to hunker down and stay warm by our very nature. It is easy for our lower energy levels to slide us into a lower emotional level like feeling moody, irritable and even depressed. Here is an easy way to make your inner light brighter and balance out your energy even on the darkest days.
Try this meditation anywhere you can have a little quiet, sitting, laying down, walking, just not driving! Imagine that you are filling with bright white light from the crown of your head down to your feet. Flow your consciousness with that light out the bottoms of your feet and deep into the earth until you find a spot that feels comfortable and welcoming. Soak up this powerful earth energy and return with it back to your body entering slowly. Starting at the bottoms of your feet, imagine and feel the light traveling up your body. As your body lights up begin to match this light with kind words and mantras such as, “I am Divinely guided. I create joy and passion in my life”and “I express myself with confidence.” Let yourself get silly and over the top with the mantras. For example, “I am a super hot and sexy money magnet!” Humor is a great way to raise your vibes and feel more awake and energized. It also helps push you past your comfort zone in a non-threatening and playful way. As you travel through your chakras affirm that they are open and vibrant. Don’t worry if you don’t know where or what your chakras are, try something as simple as “I am open to the life force energies around me that bring me blessings for my highest and best good.” You can stop when you get all the way back up to your crown and you will notice feeling cleansed and rejuvenated. To light up even brighter, imagine the light shooting right up and out of your crown and then falling down around you and being pulled back in again at your feet. You have become a fountain of light and universal energy and will feel yourself charge up like a battery with healing and energizing reaching deep into your cells.
For some people it takes time for them to begin to consciously feel the energy running, but the benefits are immediate. Take time to nourish yourself with meditation and self care, especially when you feel you don’t have the time. This past week kicked my butt with anxiety and racing thoughts and I heard from many people that they felt the same. Hard times happen. A spiritual practice is not a failure if you have found yourself lost or hurting. Coming out of hard times feeling more in love with yourself and supported rather than disappointed and a failure is a profound practice in spirituality!
We all feel overwhelmed from time to time by the desire of wanting to make the right decision. For me, I find my inbox can spark my anxiety with so many offers from all kinds of amazing healers, teachers, free downloads, videos, webinars and course offerings. I love the expression FOMO or fear of missing out, and it aptly describes what happens to so many of us when we are faced with decisions. In this video I explain how to move towards intuitive decision making and trusting your curiosity and excitement to know what is best for you!
At the end of July I went to Kripalu in Stockbridge, Massachusetts to see author and world renowned life coach, Martha Beck. This was the first trip I planned all by myself since I was 26 and cashed in all my airline miles to fly out to Northern California and visit my uncle before he passed away. I think it's safe to say that I was overdue. The weekend was based mainly on her book Finding Your Way In A Wild New World and it was incredible!
On the last day Martha taught us a technique to interpret our dreams. In this technique you "become" an object in your dream and describe it, then ask what is it's message for you. I do not tend to be a big dream person, but it must have sunk into my brain because I have been having much more vivid dreams since I returned. A few nights ago a bag of delicious, fluffy hamburger buns appeared in my dream which was perfect since we had needed them at dinner the night before. So, the bag of hamburger buns were stuck in my mind and I decided to go all Martha on those buns. I imagined I was the buns. I imagined going deep into the bag of buns, "I am soft and deep. I am plentiful and perfect. I am abundant. I serve a purpose in a luxurious and enjoyable way." According to Martha I have actually been describing myself by becoming the buns. The idea is that what we see in others we have inside of ourselves, so I am recognizing in the buns all of these aspects of myself. Awesome!
What do I, the hamburger buns, have to tell Heather the dreamer of the buns? "You have everything you need and more and it is here for you not just to get by but to savor and enjoy!"
Excellent, right? While I was having this great epiphany I was driving into the crowded parking lot at the grocery store. "Everything I need is here for me" I repeat to myself. Yep, up front parking space opens just as I pull up. I go into the store and it is jammed. I am on sensory overload as I have just come out of this meditative wide open place into this congested busy one. I literally feel that I am being stalked by carriages and start to scurry down the aisle. I am crawling out of my skin with the feeling of this carriage chasing right behind me. Finally I turn to see who it could be. I start to laugh out loud because I am literally being chased by a carriage FULL OF HAMBURGER BUNS!
I let the grocery store employee pass me by with the buns and I follow them to the bakery. I needed to find the bread and this need was met in an enjoyable way. Thank you Hamburger Buns!
Keeping a time journal is a genius trick to find out where you are wasting time, how you really feel throughout the day from activity to activity, and what you are avoiding. To do this exercise simply begin tracking what you are doing throughout your days, from morning routines to weekend activities. Print out these sheets if you would like to have a structure to your journaling and be sure to answer the kick off questions, they will be very helpful when you review your entries.
Here is some of what I found: I was lacking in clear action steps and goals. I have a broad vision of where I am headed but no clear action steps on how to get there. It became blatantly obvious that I need to structure my time more clearly and commit weekly to manageable action steps. I also need to track more precisely what is “must do” or my firm time commitments like work and kids activities, so I can find the pockets of time that I do have available. Having a clear plan for what I can accomplish in those times and sticking to it can alleviate the guilt and overwhelm I spend much of my time experiencing. By being unprepared and unclear of what my exactly schedule is day to day and what my daily and weekly goals are, I am inefficient and often unproductive. I have decided to start a goal setting group with some close friends. We will set weekly goals, action steps and report back how it felt and if we were able to follow through. Being open and honest in this way feels vulnerable and exhilarating. Putting myself in this space with people who I know have my back and are pushing to step beyond their comfort zone too makes it all feel more fun.
The beauty of this exercise is in the simplicity of what you discover. The truth of having your daily routine in black and white to analyze means you see what you have unintentionally (or intentionally?) been avoiding. It also helps clarify your goals. Through knowing how much time you truly have available you can decide if the goals and priorities you have set are the right ones for you at this time.
I encourage you to try this and even better if you can do it with a partner. Set a time when you will report back to each other and report what you found. Review the kick off questions and see if how you’re spending your time can be tweaked to lead you in the direction of greater happiness and less frustration. Having an extra set of eyes helps you to see more clearly and not be deceived by that masterful magician, Denial!
I often speak of the power of just one word to create an effortless shift in your energy. It distills language down from ideas and conversations, past beliefs and thoughts, to the simple act of sound and repetition. Why this works is a little bit beyond me. I have my theories… but truthfully it doesn’t matter. It is simply a powerful tool to have in your “Creating Change Toolbox”.
I have avoided a formal Mantra practice for a long time because it felt stressful to me. I would stress about remembering the mantra properly and choosing the right one. Is it okay to just make up my own or should I memorize a tried and true classic? It always became too much struggle which defeated the purpose of the meditation. One word mantras, I realized recently that is what I had created for myself. By repeating inside of my head a desired feeling or state I am able to call it into being in my body. Repeating “peace” will eventually bring peace and repeating “love” will grow feelings of love and appreciation.
I am adding to my mantra practice now by starting with one word and growing it into a power statement, an incantation of intent. For example, let’s say I am having one of those days where everything seems booby trapped and determined to drive me out of my tree. I can recognize my experience in the moment, and choose something different. Maybe I would choose “joy”. My mantra would go something like this:
I experience joy profoundly,
I allow joy to find me,
I trust that joy lives inside of me,
I am the joy that I seek outside of myself,
I participate in the creation of joy in the Universe,
I trust in joy to guide me,
Joy surrounds me in surprising and exhilarating ways
I wholeheartedly (and Joyfully 😉 encourage you to craft a mantra practice that serves you. It creates space between you and the obsessive thoughts that inevitably create the poop storms of life. We can all use a break in those clouds!!!